Mark, Mark, Mark, that is by far not the silliest thing any Apple fan guy has done.

I speak as the proud owner of an Apple Newton, once upon a time, which I used to book the band I managed because it could send faxes from any phone jack.

The silliest thing you can do is talk to your significant other stop paying attention to walking and talking simultaneously. So you fall upstairs and thus smash your iPhone, which was all of a day old.

What do you do then? Shine that moment up and milk it for laughs. Apple has my undying loyalty, though — I went back to the G Bar, my guy remembers me, I show him the phone, debit card out.

He says there's always one. He takes the phone, comes back with his boss, and points at me. They laugh, he hands me another phone, they turn on their heels, and that was that.